Liverpool opinions
Show 'em the door - The Phillistines are back in Liverpool
By John Williams
It's a cold October day here, but this morning I didn't need to light a fire to get warm as this advert that arrived with my mail today raised my blood temperature to boiling point in seconds. Imagine every house in your area having metal shutters. You might as well sell up and buy a semi detached house in a war zone! One of the reasons I like living where I do is that most of the shopkeepers have resisted the bullying tactics of some insurance companies which demand that urban areas must look like the Gaza Strip or else the premiums will go through the roof. Now these parasites who prey on our fears want us to make our homes look like a pawn shop in the Bronx!
Just have a glance at the speil on their website.
SECURITY HAS NEVER LOOKED SO ATTRACTIVE
Home security has never been so important as it is these days. Two out of three burglars enter through windows, so it makes good sense to protect those vulnerable areas with Cordula Roller Shutters. Tried, tested and approved by over 25 million householders throughout Europe - continental roller shutters provide a major contribution to deterring possible intruders ~ and they look good too.
Now, if two out of three burglars enter by the window, that still leaves the one that will use the front door. So, if the windows are protected by these 'good looking' shutters then surely the thief will simply use the unprotected door!
The net result is a profit for both intruders, the one who robs your possessions and the men from Cordula who enter your home on the back of fear.
As if this isn't bad enough the shutter men claim they look good! Christ, these people probably see aesthetic merit in barbed wire and tank traps!
There are shutters that have a certain charm, such as the Jalousies one sees in New Orleans or French provincial towns, but they are made of wood and somehow enhance the appearance of the houses they protect. Cordula's efforts are made of metal and to me are about as as attractive having an open cess pit in the garden. Liverpool, which in some areas is still struggling to repair the damage caused by Hitler's Luftwaffe, can do without looking as if it were twinned with Beirut!
Apart from the sheer ugliness of cladding your house in metal, burglars will simply throw away glass cutters and carry miniature oxy-acetylene burners.
Where will it all end? I foretell the revival of armourers who will supply frightened citizens with body protection from head to toe, and no doubt point them in the direction of someone who makes motorised trolleys to take them to the shops because, let's face it, they won't be able to walk unaided!
Why not simply get an insurance policy which offers new for old and keep our homes free of all this siege mentality crap?
Williams Engineering carries an extensive range of mini- acetylene burners and sundry house breaking tools.
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